I remember watching YouTube live:
A beautiful, intelligent, warm, and strong woman
I remember the nausea reading the comment stream live: monkey, ape, man
I remember my little niece
Desperately wanting blonde hair
She too is beautiful, intelligent, warm, and strong

You can always afford to see what matters
It is your prerogative not to
But we still share womanhood
And you still are sister

You are not alone

This is to everyone whose life did not quite go as expected.
For everyone whose children left before them, whose parents passed before they had a chance to grow up, whose significant others are other than what’s expected, for everyone who suffers unseen because what happened should never have been.

For everyone who lives what’s expected of them because they are not brave enough to live their truth.

This is for everyone who sometimes feels lost.

You are not alone.

You are not unseen.

You are loved.


Thoughts fickle as sand in the wind
Dance whilst eyes scan the horizon
The brain in a futile attempt tries to grasp infinity
In reality even the ocean in front of me can only be understood in knots and hours of flight

The come and go of waves
Being knocked over and over again
So much energy
So little to hold against

Another grain of sand
Memories of eons past
A dragon figure-head rocking up and down
Changing its background rhythmically

A gust of wind moves the sand
In summer my brain is on idle
It gently moves through stories
Be and let be
What else can you do?

The extented version

Greed couldn’t breathe
Panick encrouched from all directions

Must win battle
Must win battle
Must win battle

The fog monster had wrapped it’s tentacles around her warped mind
The warrioress was a deadend
Manipulation didn’t work
Abusing her didn’t work

Where is the weak link?

Her eyes darkened
A vicious grin
Grimace what used to be a face

An elderly mother
With ailing health
I take the monster to her
I will let it’s tentacles wrap around her

And so she went
Off to find yet another proxy
For the war against herself

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